Wednesday, May 21, 2008

today : vroom

After a two week posting drought I still haven't had time or inspiration to do anything. So instead of a real post I am presenting a picture of my new car.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

today : books yet to be wrote

Book One.
Title : Look At Me.
This is a factual book that explores the idea that, as the world gets smaller peoples' impulse to be noticed as unique individuals is becoming the major influence on society. It looks at the phenomena of personalised marketing, Reality TV. anti-social behaviour as an expression of a feeling of overwjelming 'dotness', the explosion in genealogy and the death of the collective mood for change. Lyotard + Friedman + Dawkins have synergised to attack our notions of individuality and individual freedom, leaving us with a caricature of real choice i.e. label shopping and the desire to make political choices based on personal impulse rather than collective good.

Book Two
Title : Really Rubbish Recipes
A collection of the most hideously inedible and unhealthy recipes culled from crap cookbooks down the years.

If anyone wants to commission me to write these then I will happily take offers. If anyone wants to nick my ideas then don't because it will cost you lots of cash.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

today : In praise of shoes

I am obsessed with shoes. Not, I might add, in some Candace Bushnell kind of way. I have little or no interest in whantever is the latest hot designer. But given that I am a middle aged male that is no surprise. Neither do I have some kind of fetish. My obsession is lifelong but purely practical.

The fact is that, as I was born with bilateral talipes, my feet are just not normal. They are shaped unlike anyone elses and have an eccentric way of behaving. As a child I realise that my parents sacrificed a lot to buy me shoes. This was for two reasons: firstly, in the 1970s shoes were rubbish. My strangely shaped feet would chew a pair into unwearable shreds in a few weeks. Secondly, shoes that were wide enough to fit me were rare and therefore expensive. This meant my parents were forced to take me out shopping for shoes sevarl times a year. I'd place my foot on the measuring thing that they don't have anymore in shoe shops and find that I was at least a G fitting widthwise, if not an H or an I, when the widest shoes were no more than a G. I also have one foot much shorter and wider than the other. Even the most experience footwear salesperson would tut and look askance when we asked if there was anything in my size. They would disappear into the back room for what seemed like hours on end, before returning, shaking their heads.

Occasionally I will find a pair of shoes that fit me perfectly. By this I mean a pair of shoes that don't cause me extra pain than I already suffer when I put them on. They never actually fit me perfectly, as even bespoke made footwear doesn't fit me perfectly, as my feet have detailed demands that would shame the Palestinians and Israelis in the detailed demands stakes.

So, I was delighted last year when I found a pair of shoes that fitted the bill. Not only were they rather comfortable , but have remained so for more than a year. And this is in the face of the fact that even the best shoes i have ever owned during my adult life have only lasted about 3 months or so before my strange gait wears them away. These particular shoes appear to be indestructible. They quickly zoomed to the top of my personally compiled 'best shoes of all time' chart.

Now the thing is, I decided that it would be sensible to buy another pair exactly the same, and so went on the interwebnet to find some. To my chagrin, it turned out that these particular shoes, which I'd bought in a sale for a tenner, were a highly prized limited edition Skate Trainer - namely the 'Globe Chad Thomas'

The good people who decide these things had not taken me into consideration when they strategised their marketing. One of the common side effects of disability is a rapid decline into relative poverty. I just don't have £148.50 to buy the last remaining size thirteens on the planet