Todays topic is : How to really stick it to Denmark

Of course, if you're going to protest against something then burning flags, effigies and embassies and marching around with your face covered waving an extremely threatening placard is a bit old hat. I, for one, watch the news these days am just bored with more endless flag burning and marching with placards and start to look forward to the sign off story, y'know the one about a guy in Topeka who has broken the world record for wrapping his own head in string. Burning stuff also tends to rile your opponents and is almost guaranteed to make The Neocons rub their hands because it gives them an excuse to continue painting you as pre-civilised and therefore the prime target for either detention without trial in a secret Polish facility or maybe an invasion.

So, if anyone wants to protest against Denmark I recommend a peaceful boycott of Danish stuff. In the spirit of protest that was fostered by Ghandi and continued by students in the 1980s, I urge all offended peoples of the world to do the following.

1. Never again listen to Barbie Girl by Aqua.
2. Do not buy 70s porn magazines.
3. If you are going to eat Danish Blue Cheese, refer to it as Shariah Blue Cheese.
4. Same with Danish pastries. Either that or switch to Biscottis.
5. Buy your bacon elsewhere. If you are a Muslim, continue to not eat bacon.
6. Avoid watching Bille August movies. Especially the really crap ones he made when he went to Hollywood.
7. If you must watch Dogme movies, don't pay for them. Use Bittorrent. In fact, forget that, just don't watch them.
8. At dinner parties, weddings and other social gatherings, try to steer away from discussions about Kirkegaard.
9. If you are telling fairy tales to your kids, avoid Hans Christian Anderson and stick to the Grimms. Also, do not buy the limited edition DVD of Disney's The Little Mermaid.
10. Never take up handball as a leisure activity.
11. Give your copy of Miss Smilla's Sense of Snow to a charity bookshop.

That'll learn 'em.