Sunday, April 04, 2010

today : My Easter message to the world





To be honest, it's pretty likely that God and Jesus didn't exist, and that the Easter story is some fable. That doesn't mean to say that it's worthless, and that people who believe in it are stupid. At the very worst, it's probably just their way of dealing with the nagging discomfort of the great unanswered questions. Any stupidity they possess and act out in the name of their belief belongs to them, and not their faith or their God.

But Happy Easter anyway, to believers of all faiths, agnostics and atheists alike. If you are one of the latter two, then use it as an excuse to pick daffodils and eat chocolate.

And if God (under the guise of whichever faith) doesn't exist, it can be profoundly depressing, as it means that meaning is something that we'll probably never understand. In the meantime, just to demonstrate that there are some things still worth giving a shit about, as well as daffodils and chocolate, I give you Artur Rubinstein playing Chopin's 2nd Nocturne in E flat major and Maria Callas's perfect version of the Schubert Ave Maria.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

today : I started a blog by The Sprites



This song by The Sprites always amused me.

I started a blog which nobody read
When I went to work
I blogged there instead

I started a blog which nobody viewed
It might be in cache
The topics include:

"George Bush is an evil moron"
"What's the story with revolving doors?"
"I'm in love with a girl who doesn't notice me"
"Nobody hates preppies anymore"

I started a blog but nobody came
No issues were raised
No comments were made

I started a blog which nobody read
I'll admit it wasn't that great
But if you must know here's what it said:

"100 of my favorite albums"
"200 people I can't stand"
"400 movies you must see soon"
"10 celebrities (4 of whom I might assasinate)"

I started a blog, I sent you the link
I wanted the world (and you) to know what I think

I started a blog, but when I read yours
It made me forget
what I had started mine for

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

today: wake me up when it's all over


I know I said I wasn't going to write about the election but this is, I have convinced myself, meta-election talk, and not direct discussion of politics. So the rules have changed (I know, cos I changed 'em). I am now allowed to discuss elections, as a general topic, as long as I don't get caught up in the election.

The problem with being someone who reads the news, follows the issues and is generally politically minded but not a rabid political junkie, is that when elections come around, it gets very boring. I wish I could muster a youthful obsessive enthusiasm, a blogosphere-style excitement over the daily minutiae of Westminster machinations. But I cannot. I've pretty much thought out my position on the issues and the chances of my vote being swayed are zero at best.

2010 is a pretty boring election too. The incumbent government isn't absolutely despised, like the Thatcher/Major bunch were. Neither are any of the candidates inspirational, like Blair or Obama were. There is almost nothing to vote for or against - this especially true when all parties face trying economic times with very little money or room for big policy shifts. (They could be bold and brave and do it anyway - they could try and solve the recession and transform society at the same time - but they won't even try. Boldness is not a characteristic any cadidate government has in 2010).

I also wish I could get angry. Not that I'm not angry about a whole raft of injustices and foolish political decisions, but I just don't possess the energy or motivation to leap up in outrage each time I disagree with someone. My anger is more of a slow burn. Which is in keeping with my general opinion that politics is not really a short term business, but operates in decades rather than weeks.

This is why I am already bored with the election campaign - some days before it even officially starts. Claim and counter-claim. Accusation and counter accusation, smear and counter smear. The game is pointlessly repetitive - like really dull basketball. And it's noisy, fiddly and hard to follow - like an undending game of squash.

So, unless something big happens I shall be trying hard to duck the endless election nonsense. Wake me up when it's all over.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

today : music to smile to

Glad to see that Stockport Council have finaly taken action against the management of Sam Linton's School (see yesterday's post)

Anyway, everything is a bit depressing at the end of the winter. So here's some music to inject some pep into the proceedings and turn any frown upside down. This Fyfe Dangerfield song COULD be a lumpen ELO rip-off, but instead has that indefinable thing that makes it into a sweeping, uplifting, stirring romantic delight.



and this clever little song by Eliza Doolittle COULD be annoying and novelty-esque but manages to be summery, witty and engaging.



Both cheered me up when I heard them on the radio recently.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

today : accidents waiting to happen


I cannot help but feel desperately sorry for the parents of Sam Linton, the boy who died of asthma at school due to, to quote the family's lawyer :

"the lack of training, lack of communication between staff, lack of record keeping and a complete absence of common sense" inside his school.

But I also feel sorry for the school staff involved. Lots of teachers, including myself, know what it's like to operate without training, communication and decent record keeping. As for common sense - well there's no excuse. Maybe she was just useless, but if the teacher involved was struggling with time, workload, weak and incompetent management and the sheer hectic pressure of a difficult teaching day, then it's quite possible that her actions weren't deliberate, venal or even stupid, but her common sense was just trumped by the situation. Anyone can make a bad judgment once the pressure passes a certain point. I wonder if any of the managers in the school or the LEA have lost their jobs as result of this horrible incident?

I've been in several situations where the same thing could've easily happened without me doing anything wrong at all. Left alone with a rowdy group of students, it is always a key decision to leave the classroom, even for a moment, to deal with any situation. It's a judgement call that is pretty much like the toss of a coin. Many is the time I've left the room to sort out a violent incident outside my door, only for the pupils inside to take the chance to be violent themselves. I once had a student knock on my door during a lesson, and when I answered it he threw up and then collapsed off his feet. I was in a situation where I was alone in a classroom where my near colleagues were on non-teaching periods and nowhere to be found. The sight of sometone throwing up had sent my class into that peculiar semi-faked hysteria that poorly behaved students will always embrace in order to cause problems (badly behaved classes become highly skilled at behaving badly. The ringleaders wiill utilise any little thing to undermine classroom discipline - a wasp coming in the window, someone breaking wind, a distant car alarm going off, someone throwing up in the corridor - anything). I sent another pupil to the nearby library to ask the librarian to phone for help. Unable to leave her own class without strictly breaking the rules on supervision, she tried and tried, but nobody answered at reception. The school used walkie talkie radios to call between staff, but they'd been hogged by a few senior staff as macho badges and there wasn't one anywhere nearby. Even when I sent the pupil down to reception there was nobody there due to an admin staff meeting, organised without someone being detailed to cover reception.

It turned out that the student had either eaten some dodgy lunch, or drunk a liquid lunch and he turned out to be fine. But the time it took to organise help could have been crucial.

Supply teachers especially are routinely put in the position where they are placed in front of pupils without any knowledge of special needs, medical issues or any other type of local knowledge - including the names of the students and too often what to teach them. Even as an established member of staff I've been given students with extremely sensitive special needs without being told. One six foot two Sixth Former had a history of mental illness, which meant that, although an excellent student most of the time, without medication he was prone to episodes of extreme violence and self harm - something several of the staff only discovered after we'd wrestled him to the floor, cleaned up the broken glass and stemmed the blood (both his and ours). He'd transferred from another school because they couldn't cope with him, but nobody deigned to tell us why.

Another 13 year old boy needed to be given his Ritalin, as without it he was pretty much out of control. His special needs assistant usually monitored his mood and administered the pills. But when she was sent on a training course, responsibility wasn't transferred (ie her boss never did anything about it) and none of the regular staff were aware. One horrible violent incident and broken arm later (I raise it to protect myself from onrushing attack and the pupil headbutted it), I found out that he'd just not taken his medication, and one pill would have likely stopped him from attacking me. Interestingly, because my arm and hand was in plaster, the Head Teacher's secretary acted as stenographer for me when I filled in the accident forms and pupil violence report. She didn't want me to read what she'd written and I had to insist. Upon reading it I found she'd left out all the salient details that pointed to procedural flaws and even tried to mollify the details of the attack itself, as if it was a tiny fleeting incident with a freak outcome.

I could go on. Experience taught me that I should research the files - checking up on statements and records of special emotional, educational and medical needs for each of the pupils I taught. Starting in a new school I went to the files kept by the special needs co-ordinator. She was pretty obstructive but I thought that was just her being precious in the face of a new staff member. Only I couldn't find the files, only ones from about three years earlier. Of course, for her £8,000 a year extra, she'd done pretty much no work and there were no files. Which is understandable if maybe she herself was not coping. But even if that was the case, he fact that nobody in the school's management had noticed her failure in the past three years meant that pupils were walking around the school with nut allergies, weak hearts and God-knows what else without anybody knowing.

I guess my point is that teachers, like the ones who taught poor Sam Linton, are in a rather vulnerable position. And often they are put there without the basic training and support they need to operate in the best interests of their pupils' safety. This is even before we consider such things as teacher safety (my broken arm is testimony to this) and the actual processes of education such as knowing how to tailor teaching style and learning materials to the pupils' individual needs.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

today : on Charlie Gillett










I only occasionally listened to Charlie Gillett who died today, but it was comforting to know that he was there. And like Peel, he was one of those music folks whose influence on me is pretty immeasurable - even when I didn't listen to his radio shows. One way to sum up my life is as a musical journey - discovering new things all the time, moving across genre and nation as I go. Like Charlie and John, I seem never to be sated for new sounds. and they both helped immeasurably in feeding my addiction.


When I was delving into history, discovering soul and Motown and their precedents, it was Charlie Gillett's book, the Sound of the City that drove me in many a direction. Behind the scenes at the time, Gillett was one of the people whom, whilst Peel mainly gave voice to British musicians, started travelling around the world for new aural excitement and fascination. Would my playlist include Tinarewen, Amadou and Mariam, Amalia Rodriguez or any of the many non-Western musicians whose brilliance has genuinely increased the quality of my life in recent years? Maybe these musicians would have come to prominence anyway, but Gillett's support of them must have helped raise their profile.

Who'd've thunk that blues existed in the Sahara?

Friday, March 12, 2010

today : a wise man once said...


How do you measure cleverness? Am I clever when I can get the answers on my favourite TV quiz, Only Connect, after seeing only one picture or clue, and when I can unravel the wall within a minute? Am I clever because I have read a lot of books (about one a week since the age of maybe 15) on different topics? Is someone clever when they can memorise stuff (I have a pretty flawless memory in some very narrow areas - other areas I can't remember anything however hard I try)?

Here's the thing. I do think I'm cleverer than most people. I think I've reached a level where I know that actually I know almost nothing, and can change my mind with ease on considering an alternative point of view.

But that's as far as it goes. It only really matters when, for example, people seem to be struggling for the solution to some issue at work and you have a credible solution, except they won't listen to you. I sometimes think that my breadth of knowledge counts against me. Nobody likes a know-it-all. It's threatening when you set yourself up as an expert on something and this everyday non-expert can match, or even outdo you.

When I was teaching I never attended a training event where some expert held forth on their area of expertise without discovering that I either learned nothing or I could have corrected a few inaccuracies. But that isn't hard if you endeavour to keep up with your professional field, read the latest papers and books. Many of these 'experts' have a script that doesn't change from year to year and consequently becomes quickly outdated.

But despite believing that I am clever and that I know the limits of that fact, I have no idea whether I am wise. That's a whole different thing. Certainly, an audit of my personal decisions over the years would lead inevitably to the conclusion that I am certainly not wise at all.

Yet, it seems that some people believe I am. Perhaps they mistake cleverness for wisdom, perhaps they mistake disinterest for dispassionate objectivity. Perhaps they are just desperate.

So periodically people seem to call on me for wisdom which I'm not sure I have. Perhaps the truly wise thing to do is to send messages out that I simply don't want the responsibility of dispensing wisdom, which I don't. But at the same time I always foil such a plan by answering peoples' questions and need for guidance with an honest opinion. If someone is desperate enough to seek my counsel, then the least I can do is to lend an ear. Except, occasionally people take the lend, in the way people take it when you 'lend' them a paperback book or a Lyle Lovett CD.

Without being specific, it almost always ends up causing me stress and a measure of work that I never volunteered for. Relationships, kids, marriages, careers - all topics are apparently within the grasp of of my Solomonesque wisdom. Even though I am not married, am single, have no kids and a stalled career. How do they think I know anything about anything?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

today : I find who to blame


I've had a pretty crappy week. I felt ill and ended each day with one of those headaches that's like something is gnawing away at the inside of your sinuses. Today I went to the shops and had to wait ages for a disabled parking spot to come free. The when I got home I had to do the same to park outside my own house (the whole street was jammed with non-residents' cars. It drives us mad). Then I had a nasty letter from the bank.

And if I am to follow the current course of media events - it is Gordon Brown's fault, or Jack Straw's, of Des Brown's, or some other cabinet minister. There must be a minister for parking. The 40 minutes I wasted today waiting for spots to come free were HIS FAULT. My non-specific cold-like headache inducing illness is clearly due to the government ineptly running the NHS. Whomever is Minister of Health, well it's HIS FAULT. They've had ten whole years to foresee the bank sending me a nasty letter and should have dealt with it years ago. They never even thought of pouring research money into a vaccine that could prevent my headaches - all the time spending money on other stuff.

I immediately called for ministerial level meetings where I can tell them what policies to adopt because they, in their expenses-paid flats with their private bar and first class trains, clearly don't understand just how hard it was being me over the last 7 days. I demand action.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

today : comeuppance


It's nice sometimes to do what the news rarely does and post follow-ups to stories. I posted about the case of Britt Pilton a few months ago because I have seen and experienced bullying within schools and her story touched a nerve with me. Now Maria Ogilvie, the nasty bitch who basically bullied her to death has been sacked. Perhaps manslaughter might've been a better option, but you take what you can get. I hope this evil person never works in education again, or anywhere for that matter.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

today : be afraid


I rarely cross post or 'borrow' other peoples' content. But I couldn't resist this list I came across. Someone spent the time and effort to catalogue all the things that, according to the Daily Mail, lead to cancer.

AGE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-449783/Women-birth-age-30-double-risk-breast-cancer.html
AIR POLLUTION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-358875/Pollution-cars-linked-child-cancer.html
AIR TRAVEL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-200443/Frequent-fliers-raise-cancer-risk.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-591109/Cancer-risk-frequent-fliers.html
ALCOHOL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-147083/Drink-day-increases-breast-cancer-risk.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-471910/Bowel-cancer-danger-just-glass-wine-day.html
ALLERGIES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-324732/Child-allergies-raise-cancer-risk.html
ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-55023/Cancer-causing-chemicals-soy-sauce.html
ARTIFICIAL LIGHT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-391267/Artificial-light-increases-breast-cancer-risk.html
ASBESTOS (as if it wasn’t bad enough already) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1170584/Asbestos-schools-kill-pupils-warns-teacher-dying-lung-cancer.html
ASPIRIN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-205490/Asprin-link-cancer-risk.html
BABIES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-157683/Birth-size-link-breast-cancer.html
BABY BOTTLES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1038697/EU-rejects-ban-baby-bottles-linked-early-puberty-breast-cancer-miscarriage-infertility.html
BABY FOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-199887/Baby-food-cancer-alert.html
BACON http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1102368/Additives-used-bacon-ham-chicken-make-cancers-grow.html
BARBEQUES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-326153/Australians-warned-backyard-cancer-risk.html
BEEF http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-393666/Alarm-beef-link-breast-cancer.html
BEER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1161843/Just-pint-beer-day-raise-risk-prostate-cancer.html
BEING A BLACK PERSON http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064547/Black-men-times-likely-prostate-cancer.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-508753/Black-women-develop-breast-cancer-decades-earlier-white-women.html
BEING A WOMAN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-63976/Cancer-risk-higher-women-smokers.html
BEING A MAN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-306543/Men-twice-likely-die-cancer-women.html
BEING SOUTHERN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1027331/Why-affluent-women-South-likely-die-breast-cancer.html
BISCUITS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-126342/Cancer-foods-avoid.html
BLOWJOBS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-453843/Oral-sex-cause-throat-cancer.html
BRAS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-182370/Is-bra-bad-you.html
BREAD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-411506/White-bread-increases-cancer-risk.html
BREAST FEEDING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-178756/Whos-risk-breast-cancer.html
BREAST IMPLANTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-41443/Breast-implants-cancer-scare.html
BROKEN HEARTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-450049/How-heart-broken-grief-send-early-grave.html
BUBBLE BATH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-403703/Is-bubble-bath-safe.html
BURGERS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-467360/Cancer-scare-food-colour-added-sausages-burgers.html
CAFFINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1127473/Coffee-raise-child-cancer-risk-New-evidence-caffeine-damage-babies-DNA.html
CALCUIM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052127/Fatal-cancer-risk-men-high-blood-calcium-levels-say-US-researchers.html
CANDLE-LIT DINNERS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1207726/Candles-release-scents-laced-cancer-chemicals-warn-scientists.html#ixzz0dufFps6a
CANNED FOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-44676/Gender-bending-chemicals-tin-cans.html
CARBOHYDRATES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-313227/Low-carb-diets-beat-breast-cancer.html
CARS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-358875/Pollution-cars-linked-child-cancer.html
CEREAL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html
CHEESE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1002424/Italy-shuts-mozzarella-production-toxin-fears-spread.html
CHICKEN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-429303/Families-risk-toxic-imported-foods.html
CHILDLESSNESS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/columnists/article-474820/SUZANNE-MOORE-Im-sick-told-fault.html
CHILDREN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-according-new-study.html
CHILDREN’S FOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-201390/Health-warning-childrens-food.html
CHILLIS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-347287/Cancer-checks-spices-new-food-dyes-alert.html
CHINESE MEDICINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-75547/Warming-cancer-risk-Chinese-medicines.html
CHIPS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-487571/Parents-told-chips-cause-cancer.html
CHLORINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-431777/Chlorine-bathwater-linked-cancer.html
CHOCLATE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-386625/Cancer-fears-chocolate-snacks.html
CITY LIVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-496495/City-life-blamed-higher-risk-breast-cancer.html
CLIMATE CHANGE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-452789/Warmer-climate-mean-thousands-deaths-skin-cancer.html
COCA COLA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-337178/Carrot-day-reduces-cancer-risk.html
COD LIVER OIL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-379918/Cancer-fears-cod-liver-oil-capsules.html
COFFEE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3027/How-healthy-cup-coffee.html
CONSTAPATION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-193698/Atkins-diet-cancer-risk.html
CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-181273/Cancer-risk-45-higher-Pill.html
COOKING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-382571/Frying-increase-cancer-risk.html
CORDLESS PHONES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-515970/After-cancer-warnings-mobiles-home-phone-putting-health-danger.html
CRAYONS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6706/Safety-alert-best-selling-crayons.html
CURRY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-342632/Cancer-dye-Grossman-curry-sauce.html
DEODRANT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-205705/Deodorants-linked-cancer.html
DIETING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-73056/Is-diet-lifestyle-putting-risk-breast-cancer.html
DOGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-490581/Can-dogs-breast-cancer-Bizarre-medical-theories-experts-claim-actually-true.html
EGGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-50995/Cancer-chemicals-eggs.html
ELECTRICITY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-449679/Power-lines-link-cancer-new-alert.html
ENGLISH BREAKFAST http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1049142/Traditional-English-fry-raise-risk-bowel-cancer-63-cent.html
FACEBOOK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1149207/How-using-Facebook-raise-risk-cancer.html
FALSE NAILS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1174768/Having-nails-skin-cancer-doctors-warn-women.html
FATHERHOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-according-new-study.html
FIBRE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4903/Fibre-cancer-risk-warning.html
FISH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-117840/Fish-cancer-scare.html
FLIP FLOPS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025915/Wearing-FLIP-FLOPS-skin-cancer-doctors-warn.html
FLY SPRAY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-459938/Using-pesticide-sprays-home-double-risk-brain-tumours.html
FRUIT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-371260/Breast-cancer-drug-cuts-death-risk.html
GARDENS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-326153/Australians-warned-backyard-cancer-risk.html
GRAPEFRUIT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-468559/Eating-grapefruit-increase-breast-cancer-risk-third.html
HAIR DYE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1017259/How-using-hair-dye-increase-risk-cancer.html
HAM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-490845/Is-safe-eat-Cancer-report-adds-bacon-ham-drink-danger-list.html
HEIGHT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064454/Bigger-taller-baby-girls-higher-risk-breast-cancer-says-study.html
HONEY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-429303/Families-risk-toxic-imported-foods.html
HOT DRINKS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html
HRT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1214782/HRT-increases-risk-dying-lung-cancer.html#ixzz0dueJ7qOY
INTERNET http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-312505/Cancer-patients-risk-websites.html
IVF http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-148228/How-IVF-raises-cancer-risks.html
KIDNEY TRANSPLATS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-446559/Red-meat-link-higher-risk-breast-cancer.html
LAMB http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-446559/Red-meat-link-higher-risk-breast-cancer.html
LARGE HEADS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-370870/Big-headed-babies-prone-cancer.html
LEFT-HANDEDNESS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-363477/Left-handers-likely-breast-cancer.html
LIPSTICK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-499967/Is-lipstick-giving-cancer.html
LIVER TRANSPLANTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-207838/Cancer-liver-transplant-killed-husband.html
MENOPAUSE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-395201/Weight-gain-menopause-increases-breast-cancer-risk.html
MENSTRUATION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-68946/Do-women-need-periods.html
METAL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1081692/The-metals-daily-glass-wine-linked-cancer-Parkinsons.html
MILK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-328863/Milk-linked-ovarian-cancer.html
MOBILE PHONES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-473553/Orange-remove-mobile-mast-tower-doom-cancer-rate-soared.html
MODERN LIVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-474157/Modern-living-blame-cancer-epidemic.html
MONEY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025375/Wealthy-background-raise-risk-cancer-teenagers.html
MORPHINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1230208/Pain-drug-morphine-cause-cancer-spread.html#ixzz0dudlHqN2
MOUTHWASH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1113422/Mouthwash-causes-oral-cancer-pulled-supermarkets-say-experts.html
NUCLEAR POWER (there is no hint of irony in this article) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-42066/New-study-links-nuclear-sites-cancer.html
OBESITY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-245997/Obesity-raises-risk-cancer.html
OESTROGEN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4098/Oestrogen-link-breast-cancer.html
OLDER FATHERs http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1223025/Why-older-fathers-likely-children-genetic-disorders.html#ixzz0dudLlJsP
PASTRY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html
PEANUT BUTTER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1164417/Food-watchdog-warning-peanut-butter-brand-containing-cancer-causing-fungus.html
PERFUME http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1051130/How-perfumes-scented-creams-make-unborn-baby-infertile.html
PICKLES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html
PIZZA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-341698/New-food-dye-warning.html
PLASTIC BAGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1207840/Plastic-decomposes-sea-releases-cancer-causing-chemicals-study-warns.html#ixzz0duexZlFs
PORK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1093039/After-alert-Irish-pork-safe-beef.html
POTATOES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-115037/Cancer-chemical-link-cooked-food.html
POVERTY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/columnists/article-474820/SUZANNE-MOORE-Im-sick-told-fault.html
PREGNANCY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-82458/Breast-cancer-risk-career-women.html
RADIOACTIVITY (again, just no irony whatsoever) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-421140/As-radioactive-spy-buried-bar-staff-served-facing-cancer-risk.html
RICE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-444222/Rice-tainted-arsenic-raises-risk-cancer.html
SAUSAGES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-550729/Why-eating-just-sausage-day-raises-cancer-risk-20-cent.html
RETIREMENT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1220446/Oh-Work-good-especially-youve-retired.html#ixzz0ducbviCE
SEX http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-191219/Did-sex-cancer.html
SHAVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-206459/Shaving-raise-cancer-risk.html
SKIING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-206243/Skiers-warned-cancer-risk.html
SOUP http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1132814/Salty-soups-increase-cancer-risk-says-expert.html
SPACE TRAVEL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1015482/How-astronauts-risk-cancer--premature-ageing--travelling-space.html
SUN CREAM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-592076/Cancer-fear-childrens-sun-creams.html
TALCUM POWDER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1063040/Cancer-alert-talc-Women-using-powder-day-risk.html
TEA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-87131/Too-tea-treble-cancer-risk-women.html
TEEN SEX http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1237530/Girls-sex-teens-greater-risk-developing-cervical-cancer.html#ixzz0dudvXOF7
VITAMINS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-320006/Vitamin-pills-cause-early-deaths.html
WATER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-13620/Cancer-link-tap-water-radon-hotspots.html
WI-FI http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-456534/The-classroom-cancer-risk-wi-fi-internet.html
WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-338899/Dye-alert-spreads-school-meals.html
WORKING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1031934/Why-men-desk-jobs-higher-risk-prostate-cancer.html
X-RAYS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-207035/X-rays-bring-risk-cancer.html

Saturday, January 30, 2010

today : a perfect day for pretending to be well read


So, everyone has read Catcher in the Rye. Even those who clearly never did. I'm wondering why Salinger's death is getting so much attention. This book, hardly read nowadays, was American and barely taught in English schools, or, as far as I know, read by English people.

Of course, the answer lies in the cult of personality. Nothing makes someone more interesting than lack of access. And even in a post-structuralist world people are still obsessed over the artist way more than the art.

Anyone who has read Ian Hamilton's book 'In Search of...' will know that Salinger was a fairly typical New Yorker sort of author of his age. Existing on the edge of celebrity with his almost marriage to Oona O' Neil (later Chaplin) and his interesting counter-intelligence war work. What was allowed to be written was quite interesting.

But as a writer his published oeuvre: one novel, a few novellas and a selection of short stories is pretty scant. He was blessed by appearing in a world of change and newness, where American authors of the post-war could easily find fame and fortune just by the endorsement of a certain New York establishment. Capote, Harper Lee (whom I am convinced is probably Capote anyway), Heller, Salinger. All are known for mainly one influential work. And I guess the publishing and published world was pretty small in those days. It seems that anyone who got a story in the New Yorker, got a book deal, even when some, like Brodky didn't actually write a book for decades but suffered the fame anyway.

Now that Salinger is dead, it will be interesting to see what remains. The potential is that there are fifty years of manuscripts lying around.

I also find it ironic that Catcher in The Rye is almost an aside to what appears to be Salinger's main fixation, and that most of the people who are naming it today have seemingly never read Franny and Zooey, or Nine Stories, Seymour: An introduction, or For Esme, and wouldn't know the Glass Family if they came home and found them on the sofa watching The One Show.

I wonder what might happen today. Salinger's break came with 'A perfect day for bananafish' - A story about an apparently crazy honeymooning man who plays rather suspiciously with a six year old girl on the beach. I always thought it was plainly weird. I doubt in today's climate, it would get a hearing, just as I suspect that Nabokov would have been shunned on submitting his most famous manuscript.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

today : i-don't geddit


So Apple launched another thing today. I know this because the news (the News!) announced it a full 18 hours before it happened (also third item on the news on Channel 5 - Avatar makes loads of money. Fourth item: man jailed for killing three children).

Don;t get me wrong. I like gadgets - especially those that help me. I have a touch-screen phone that is also a pretty fully loaded MP3 device (not an Apple one, I got mine on a free upgrade to go with my contract. It was a good deal, less money: new phone) and I like it a lot.

But here's the thing I don't get. The whole queuing up overnight to get a gadget. Running and wrestling to the front of the queue. Paying premium money to get the latest thing. How empty a life do you have to possess before you begin to masturbate over leaked pictures of electronic communication devices?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

today : star witnesses


I know it's a huge long shot, but what if all the witnesses to the Chilcot Inquiry are being honest and telling as much of the truth as they can recall?

It's interesting to watch the likes of Christopher Meyer, Alistair Campbell, Jeff Hoon et al giving their evidence. So far, it seems that only Meyer has been in any way maverick. But then again, if you read his book DC Confidential he is a maverick kind of character. Lord John Marbury, if you like. But even then, he didn't rock the boat too much and what he said more or less fitted with the larger narrative.

Last week the reporters got all hot under the collar over Jeff Hoon. In some ways this is understandable, as Hoon might've shed more light on his recent attempt to oust Gordon Brown. But, it was never going to happen. The inquiry was not about what happened last week, and I imagine that Hoon is not so stupid that he doesn't realise he already looks a bit foolish. The worst it got was the fact that there might have been more helicopters for use in Afghanistan, had the green light been given five years ago. It's pretty convoluted and speculative, and, despite the right wing press endlessly exploiting the relatives of dead soldiers to to try and make it so, hardly controversial. The worst you could say was that the government didn't envisage what might be needed some years into the future and on the far side of both a UK and a US election. Having 20-20 long term foresight is something no government can even be credited with.

One blessed relief is that when the evidence has been shown, it has just been shown with none of the usual presentational tics, such as a correspondant breaking in every few seconds to tell you what you are watching and, whilst trying to summarise what you just heard, stopping you from hearing what you wanted to hear now. I imagine all the people whose job this usually is, sitting around having tea and cakes with their feet on the desk.


The heavyweight political correspondants are puffing and wheezing, as trying to find cynical angles and points of outrage is proving pretty difficult. The other day they got all worked up to a frenzy when they found out the date of Tony Blair's appearance. I think they will find themselves disappointed. How likely is it that Blair will sit there and announce that it was all a conspiracy, and that he is a swivel-eyed colonialist and had planned to start a war all along, whilst deceiving everyone on all the details and even personally murdering David Kelly in order to shut him up? Blair's answers will prosaically chime with those given already, even as the press and TV will try desperately to hype up every word to try and create controversy (especially given that this is a 'Labour' issue and much of the press and Sky News are in pre-election mode, where everything is about trying to undermine Labour).

The fact remains that there are two main camps. Those who think that the war was wrong and that there were conspiracies, who will never really change that view whatever is said or done, and those who believe it wasn't so bad in the end, who really don't want to spend any more time raking over the details, given that Iraq inquiries are getting a bit like a Status Quo greatest hits. People have a habit of vehemently defending their previous positions by any means necessary. To do otherwise would be to show embarrassment at their previous actions and statements.

The Chilcott inquiry will change nobody's mind on the issues. All it seems to be there for is to give political junkies something to have wet dreams about.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Monday, December 28, 2009

today I'd be a millionaire...I'd be a Fred Astaire


I know there's a fashion for it at the moment, where old bands put on special shows where they run through a long player, but there aren't that many albums that can really stand up to it. Even before the days where the album as a concept became pretty much irrelevant, there were always one or two tracks that could be skipped over and, lets face it, many albums were a hit single or two packaged with some other tracks, which may or may not be excellent, and often crushingly dull. This is especially true of pop, as opposed to rock. Genesis or Cream or Zeppelin operated in the album form, and hardly ever released singles. They could probably perform IV or Disraeli Gears or Selling England by the Pound in full and get away with it. Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall likewise. OK Computer at a push. But pop music is built on the three minute radio-friendly ditty. The very idea of pop is to have hits and be popular. And the economic model of pop is to concentrate on the singles and follow up with the album - hence the very concept of filler.

Which is what makes ABCs The Lexicon of Love so remarkable. At the time it was widely hailed as one of the best albums of the 1980s and has since cemented its place in the critics top howevermany of all time. This, for a pop concept album on that perennial pop topic of love and heartbreak. It's a difficult trick to pull off. Write a song cycle that more or less describes the arc of a love affair but make it not cheesy, not cloying and not sentimental. In fact, pack it with wit, honest emotion, clever wordplay, a pinch of pretension and even political allegory, but without tipping over into detached cynicism. But do all this to music which makes people dance, smile, sing along and suffer a sublime soaring heart from the first to the last second.

But ABC pulled it off. Orchestrating a timeless and joyful brew of 80s funk, Philly Soul, Bacharach and David, 60s film soundtracks, shiny electro-pop and even a slight nod to Vegas and musical theatre. The LoL also contains several of the greatest pop moments ever committed to tape. Like the bit in Poison Arrow where the girl declares: "I care enough to know I can never love you" and the drums crash back in (and for that matter the simple injerjection of her saying "Goodbye" as a percussive beat in Look of Love), or the bit in All of My Heart where there's a piano arpeggio that goes all the way down the keys, ending with a resonating bass note (which was soon after nicked by Quincy Jones on Michael Jackson's I Just Can't Stop Loving You), or the climax of Valentines Day: "If you gave me a pound for the moments I missed And I got dancing lessons for all the lips I shoulda kissed I'd be a millionaire I'd be a...Fred Astaire", or the tension break when Many Happy Returns segues into Tears Are Not Enough, or the way the electric piano break Show Me loses it's echo and suddenly feels really close to the speakers. Or the three shimmering guitar chords on All of My Heart that back the words to the bridge..."I won't be told, there's a pot of gold, at the end of the rainbow..." that are like the wind ruffling the surface of a mill-pond.

So to watch Martin Fry, band and orchestra perform The Lexicon of Love a couple of weeks ago was potentially a special experience. It was also potentially a naff nostalgia-fest for gone-to-seed, stuck in the 80s former new-romantics. But in fact there were fewer of the 80s nostalgia crowd in attendance than I thought. Maybe ten people or less would have also paid to see, par example, Spandau Ballet. You could tell them by their recently washed and pressed 80s nostalgia tour T shirts.


I truly love that album. It's travelled with me throughout my adult life, reflecting my youth as if in gold lame, reinvigorating the part of me that loves pure edge-of-kitsch pop music as much as I might also like Janacek's String Quartets or Sketches of Spain or heavy metal like Hanoi Rocks. And it seemed I was in a room with several hundred like-minded folk. There were plenty of middle aged men with their slightly less interested wives, but also a smattering of people from all ages. One row was taken up with an entire posse of teenaged girls. Odd, but explained when Martin Fry dedicated a song to his daughter and one of the girls squirmed and blushed whilst her friends pointed and giggled.

The first half of the show was a run through of the other, less brilliant hits - how else could they structure a show such as this? And then a civilised interval where people queued in a middle-aged, civilised way for wine and premium lagers.

The sense of anticipation in the room increased. You could feel it. I mention this because I never quite expected what would happen next. The orchestra came on, followed by Anne Dudley, to strike up the overture. After a smattering of classical concert styler applause, everyone went silent. Then the band appeared and moved smoothly into Show Me, tremeloed bass harmonics and all. It was great. I could feel my face smiling and I couldn't stop. But then the quite unexpected happened. As the piano arpeggio/glissando and handclap intro to Poison Arrow began, people began to stir. Almost as single person the audience stood, as if ordered. And by the time the intro led into that 7 note slap bass fill before the real song began everyone was keening towards the stage with tension and expectation. As the bassline and the drums kicked in properly the place went absolutely chaotically, uncontrollably mad. People were jumping up and down. Groups of middle aged folk ran from their seats to places where there was room to dance. The people on the balconies were throwing shapes and cheering along as if their team had just scored the winning cup-final goal. Everyone just let go. It was almost bacchanalian and out of control. At the song's abrupt end the place roared its approval. People stayed on their feet for Valentines Day, dancing a little less energetically, but then came The Look of Love and everyone entirely lost their senses again. For the next thirty minutes the energy gradually dissipated. But then after Anne and the orchestra had finished Look of Love prt 5, the band skipped back on and encored Look of Love (part two), causing mayhem again. People booed when a second encore didn't materialise. I genuinely think they could have heard the hits two or three times over and still have been left wanting more.


What was so brilliantly joyful about it was that this wasn't a crowd of uninhibited teenagers on too many blue alco-pops and half a dodgy E. This was a respectable middle aged crowd who'd got baby sitters and driven their people carriers to the show. Perhaps its not so shocking that the place exploded. All that middle-aged respectibility can be so restricting. And to have your favourite ever songs playing in front of you in a way you never thought you'd see and at a level of quality you never expected is the excuse you need to let it all out and express the fact that even though you're 45, you still feel 15 inside.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

today : politics: a warning from history


It's very clear...Gordon's not here to stay. What with the press upping the ante with their attacks on him and everything he does being portrayed as incompetent and blundering. And unless something really stands out as a topic requiring comment in the run up to the election in a few months, I think I'll leave it all alone. I don't really feel the need to use my 'umble blog to play at being a pundit. After all, it's the Nick Robinsons and the Adam Boltons and the John Pienaars and the Laura Kuensbergs who get to do that. And it's a slight pet hate of mine to see that lots of people use Web 2.0 to endlessly broadcast the minutiae of their stupid opinions, like the web was a great big local radio phone-in. So here's all I have to say. If you are going to vote for the Tories next time because you're bored with Labour, or are taken in by the endless negative press on Brown, or even if your political instinct is conservative, don't come crying to me when it turns out that you didn't quite get what you thought you were getting.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Today : Saltydog's now traditional Xmas music selection


It's Christmas (or December, at least) and each year I like to post a Christmas Video or two. Let's start with the best one


and a new one that's quite good



and a bonkers one



and proof that some people can make even those tired old naff Xmas songs swing like a mother




Be nice to people.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

today : a small step




What with all the floods and the Queen's Speech and all that, this
interesting news story kind of slipped by.
Nobody seemed to have noticed that the bank involved was RBS. Remember them? They ran themselves into the ground by sheer unadulterated greed and incompetence, and are currently existing purely on the backs of Britain's tax-payers, including paying their useless and rat-faced former CEO a 'pension' of 3 million quid a year.

And then they want to spend money on appealing a decision that treating people well is kind of something you should endeavour to do.


Whoever decided to appeal this decision on their behalf should be sacked forthwith, and possibly replaced with a
disabled person. At least we cripples tend to have some perspective on things like managing our meagre finances and what it is like to live in the world rather than a palace made up of diamonds and sculpted towers of cocaine.

Friday, November 13, 2009

today : practice


As I'm still recovering from my ankle operation and am facing a pretty crucial couple of weeks (will ever walk again?), I am planning to take another short break. The plan ts to indulge in the simple joy of sitting and playing the guitar for a bit.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

today : the importance of a hat


Say what you like about Hamid Karzai. He may be corrupt; a US puppet who turned out to be more Punch than Judy. He may be President of an unrulable country (how many people in Afghanistan are part of the 'political class' - with access to being in government? I guess there are as many as tens of people based in Kabul who are potential Presidents of the nation that is really not a nation at all), but he does always look well turned out. Apart from from his rather benign, dapper, avuncular looks, his luxury bathroom-carpet-based hat is especially impressive, especially when accompanied by the heavy curtain-based shawl in Wimbledon Tennis colours.